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It’s all too often that I am unable to sleep, sometimes for days on end. There are only two days left of 2006. This time in my state of being awake, and looking at my logs for referrers I’ve come across some more interesting stuff to process. The lack of required mental health care and physical treatment has left me altered to say the least. I am emotionally unstable, I cry almost daily, and days I don’t I hold back my tears some how. I write in a blog because it is MY outlet. I don’t have a professional to talk to regularly anymore and this feels like the healthy thing to do. I honestly feel homicidal at times, and suicidal the rest of the time, again I fight my urges, feeling exhausted. I didn’t used to feel this way, I feel the medications that were last prescribed to me had a huge effect on this. You may have heard of it, Cymbalta. But I will get into that later.