:\
the longer this goes on, the more i think about back surgery.
the more i think about back surgery, the more i think about how as time goes by the technology gets better, and possibly less invasive. how many surgeons do u know that have had back surgery? for that matter how many people do you know that have had back surgery, or knew someone who did, and after the fact, things got the slightest bit better? this chiropractor i have out here kinda scared me the other day. ive seen her twice now, and each time she has spent an extraordinary amount of time talking with me. she was explaining my 3 year old lumbar MRI to me for about an hour. something no one has done from what i can recall, well if it was done three years ago it wasn’t as hammered into my brain. it’s some quite fucked up shit to say the least. she also said that eventualy, it will get to a point where surgery isnt an option. how long is that? i dont know. i dont think that it is very plausible to figure that out until another MRI is done, so there is something to compare. now 3 years later, in general i feel worse, so im very afraid of what a new ones may tell. i really try to enjoy what mobility i have, although i wish theyd let me continue in some form of physical therapy so that i can strengthen my back and increase mobility. any kind of procedure thats been done to me has left me flat for a month minimum. something more complicated, could be months of actual rehab, or worse learning to walk again. maybe im just nuts. but it still flows through my mind, the many possibilities and reactions for every possible action. i should try and be positive atleast and remember the real reason why i named my dog negative.
