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A couple weeks ago an old boss/friend of mine from Flashcom called me up out of the blue and asked me to lunch.  Cool I thought to myself, it’s always nice to see old friends.  A few days later we had lunch and chatted about what we were up to.  I mentioned that I’ve been needing more to keep busy with at home.  That I have been trolling monster.com, thinking about trying to get a job again and I’d even failed a phone interview with Yahoo! a few weeks earlier.  It’s not like these past 7 years I haven’t wanted to work, I just haven’t felt able or had the opportunity.  Between the amount of pain I am in everyday; somewhat scared, my confidence, which has been shit along with my inability to sit upright and function with a computer for periods longer than 30 minutes.  I just feel useless, A.D.D. like and I’m not at the top of my game like I used to be.  Long story short, my friend gave me the chance to see where I am at, then a part-time job opportunity and plenty of room to grow in that job.  I couldn’t have asked for more. 

I started this week hoping I wouldn’t embarrass myself, or worse have some kind of melt down or failure.  I spent lots of hours “cramming” for a final as it were.  I tried to refresh myself throughout the week the best I could.  After my first day of work yesterday I was so extremely tired, even though I was there for barely 7 hours I probably didn’t rest enough on the job.  I woke up at 4:30pm today after sleeping around 16 hours.  Need to diligently take it easy not push myself too hard, and remember to lay down flat more frequently during my breaks.  Most computer work is extremely sedimentary.  Once I figure out how to do 50% or more of it walking around or laying down for cheaper than $4k, I’ll be quite pleased.

Today, I am more confident now, in that maybe I haven’t lost all my valuable skills.  I just need to continue to remember what I’ve already learned from past experiences, and then learn how to reapply what I know.  Sure it’s only day one.  It is just a big change for me.  I’ve really felt pretty worthless since I became unable to work.  The Physician’s Assistant at my appointment on Wednesday said it was great that I was trying to get back to work after so long and said it would really benefit me, as we discussed my work restrictions.  I’d say he was right on.

If only this string of positive events had happened sooner!  When will my psyche, lower back, and left shoulder get healed so that maybe then I can put this overly stressful ordeal behind me?  Only SCIF knows for now, my guess is much more time will be wasted.  For now let’s focus on the good things.  New Macbook, new job, and I’m back in California.  :)  I also don’t care as much about the issues of trying to find a roommate which would be icing on the cake at this point.

Got to goto the gym now and beat myself up more to push the envelope.  Today I really have the old man walk and I’d like to try out the spa and sauna at the gym if I can get over the ick factor.

PS: didn’t make it to the gym in-time. bah!  was going on odd days, now it’s even days I guess.  oh well, first time for everything.

PPS: Vitamin Water tastes like it sounds.

PPPS: my sense of time sucks, it’s only been 7 years.